If you didn't catch the Critics' Choice Awards on Sunday night then I'm afraid to say you missed something special. An elated Christian Bale won for best actor in a comedy for The Big Short, and after kissing his wife, started making out with director Adam McKay and screenwriter Charles Randolph. "That was just a lovely makeout session with my wife and with Adam and with Charles," Bale remarked. "We all really got to know each other very well on this film." Clearly. But hey, nothing wrong with swapping spit with the British babesicle, because I'm willing to bet that Bale is a pretty good kisser.
And why am I willing to bet on that? I mean, I hate to say it, but I've never personally made out with the former caped crusader. That's just something I have to live with, and hope that it'll one day maybe change. But I'm a human being with eyes and an extensive movie collection, so yes, I've gotten this sneaking suspicion that he might have some serious make out skills.
Unconvinced? Well, watch the video below, and then allow me to take you down a few delightful movies that would definitely support this theory of mine.
Velvet Goldmine
You may have watched the ode to glam rock in a post-David Bowie mourning state; I know I did. And if you have, you'll note (spoiler) that Bale's rock journalist had a delightful sexual awakening with Curt Wild, that universe's Iggy Pop played by a smoking hot Ewan McGregor. That's nothing to scoff at, and also something to replay... again... and again... and again.
American Psycho
"Whaaaat, Mary Grace?" He kills people in that movie, he doesn't really kiss them. Yeah, I get it, but he's able to grab the affections of many pretty women slash hopeless victims. Is it his six figure job, his meticulous style, he's chiseled good looks, his sociopathic charms? No, it's probably because he's a good kisser, duh. And he's not afraid to bite, so um... you gotta love a man who really loves to experiment.
The Dark Knight Rises
I'm sure you could insist that Bruce Wayne was able to kiss Rachel Dawes so hard she changed from Katie Holmes to Maggie Gyllenhaal. That's pretty magical alone. But major props for that last Batman and Catwoman kiss, which Selina Kyle goes for before the entire freaking city almost blows up. You don't go in for a time-consuming kiss like that unless you know there's pay off, right? I mean, I can't remember the last time I kissed someone and everything spun around us so dramatically.
American Hustle
American Hustle nearly succeeded in doing the impossible: making Bale decidedly un-hot by sticking him with that paunch and a gross combover. Yet he still had mega-babes like Amy Adams and Jennifer Lawrence all up in his grill. Why could that possibly be? UM, my bet is definitely on "good kisser."
So there you have it, folks. Definitive proof that Bale must be totally talented at kissing. And if that still isn't enough for you, I'd be more than happy to take one for the team and test him out myself.
Images: Giphy (4)
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